Two words, one short sentence, that I hear over and over again.
Not a little a lot.
But a lot a lot.
The words are small, but the meaning behind them is HUGE and not to be underestimated.
I hear it in life, and particularly in the studio.
"I'm sorry, I played soccer last week and have bruises on my legs."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what to bring so I brought everything and don't know what to wear."
"I'm sorry, can you help me put this on?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I like this one."
The list is endless and could go on and on.
There's a lot that goes into this. I get it.
Society tells women that we're supposed to be deferential and peace-keeping.
Apologies avoid conflict. They cover up confrontation.
They are a way accept blame and beg forgiveness and show respect for authority.
But here's the problem:
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR.
You are allowed to take up time and space in this universe.
You are allowed to reach out to people for guidance and consultation.
There is nothing wrong with seeking the advice of an expert.
There is nothing wrong with living you life and having preferences and desires.
When I hear these kinds of apologies all I can think is:
Don't be sorry... you play a sport that you enjoy and you're taking care your mind and body.
Don't be sorry... you're planning ahead and covering your bases. I'll help you find your favorite looks.
Don't be sorry... that's impossible to put on without some help, I'm happy to give you a hand.
Don't be sorry... let's find something else that you do love.
There is no fault or blame in any of those things.
I get it. It's habit that I fall into too.
And don't get me wrong:
If you behave poorly, apologize. But that's not what I'm talking about here.
Next time, say "excuse me" or "thank you" instead.
If you need to, replace the apology with appreciation.
"Excuse me, can you help me with this?"
"Thank you for taking the time to go through this with me."
"Thank you, but let's keep looking for something I like more."
No blame. No guilt.
No implication that you did anything wrong.
(because you didn't)
And then try to drop it altogether.
Because sometimes you have to make the world appreciate you.
But for all that's good in the world. don't apologize for existing and taking up space in the world.
Because that's what you are here to do.